Rodarte Slightly Off Target

I stopped by our suburban Target for some toilet paper the other day and discovered that it still had a cache of Rodarte. Reading the fashion blogs, one got the impression that the Rodarte line sold out about as quickly as the Jimmy Choos at H&M. And yet there they were . . . stuck between some polyester potato sacks from the Merona label and the totally unseasonal swimwear display.

I scored this adorable mustard-colored tulle and lace skirt for $29.99. I'm looking forward to rocking it with a ruffled blazer from Anthro, some black tights, and a pair of sexy secretary Mary Janes. I will not be attempting the Rodarte fishnets; I leave those for Tavi.

Images courtesy of Target.

They also had this dress in blush, mustard, and black. It looked so promising on the rack: ethereal tulle over a vintagey lace chemise, two dainty satin bows on the shoulders, and a can't-be-beat price of $39.99.

But then I put it on.

Sad, misshapen, rumpled little dress. Boobs all out of whack, waistband nowhere near the waist. Made me look like a tutu-wearing barrel. Totally unforgivable.

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That's why part of me (alright, all of me) was happy to see this photo this evening. That dress even makes Natalie Portman look like a disheveled tooth fairy. I love that she threw that ill-fitting cardigan over it, like she caught herself in the mirror right before she walked the red carpet (or hardwood floor, as it seems to have been here) and realized that she looked totally insane. "Quick," I imagine her saying to her cousin Blanche, who just returned from the 80s. "Lend me your cardie!" And Blanche says to her, "This old thing? It doesn't even have buttons anymore." So Natalie wraps some black electrical tape around the cardigan at the waist and poses begrudgingly for photos.